When your husband's umbilical cord hasn't yet been severed, you're in for trouble. Interfering in-laws can wreak havoc in a marriage.
Is your husband a mama's boy? Does he place his parents' happiness above yours? Thankfully, there's hope. Many Indian men get married when they are young, and are easily swayed by their parents as they have more faith in their parents' judgment than they have in that of their wives. They also try to do the right thing, and so believe they should look after their parents. Also, if your husband is doing much better financially than his parents, he may have a desire to share the money with his parents, who played such a major part in ensuring his success. But helping parents is one thing, and dancing to their tune is quite another.
'They keep wanting to meet.'
Try to reduce your interaction with his parents as much as possible. The less you meet them, the less they will criticize you. A great idea would be to take up a job. A job gives you a tremendous sense of security and can make a world of difference to your self-esteem and level of happiness. In addition, if your husband is the kind who expects you to interact with his parents more, you have a perfect excuse as to why you will be unable to attend a certain get-together. Have rules in the beginning and make it clear that you are only free over weekends, and this is when you can meet up with them or catch up on the phone. But remember, the same rules should apply to your parents. If you call his parents over the weekend, call your parents immediately afterwards. Of course, you can always speak to your parents from the office too!
'My in-laws keep expecting money from us.'
If you husband wants to send money to his parents, don't discourage him. He may think of you as selfish. Instead, work with him so he doesn't give random amounts. Work out the household budget with him, factor in investments for children, and then come to a figure. Let your husband understand that you will not be able to give them anything beyond this decided amount. It may seem surprising but many parents think of their son's houses as their own, and feel free to pick up things as and when they please. This monthly payment will clearly send the message that what's yours is yours and will give you some piece of mind. Also, if his parents keep picking up little amounts, he may not realize how much they are actually taking. If he hands over a check every month, things are a lot clearer.
'He says he loves me, but loves his parents more.'
True, he may love you in his own way, but if he places his parents above you, it's simply not done. Yes, he should love and respect his parents too, but you should unquestionably be his first priority. You cannot force him to place you above him, and the more sacrifices you make for them, the more you reinforce his belief that they are more important. Instead, define your own priorities.