Trouble in paradise All marriages go through rough patches, but not all survive. Here's how you can work on keeping your marriage strong.
There are couples that are happily married and that positively glow in each other's company, and there are couples that just live together for the sake of doing so, although they aren't happy in the marriage.
Although all couples argue, sometimes over the smallest things, when these arguments seem to take place constantly, and when you fight more than you talk, couples often start wondering if they should head for divorce. Where did those loving, romantic days go, you wonder, and how did problems escalate to such an extent
Here's what you and your spouse can do now, to prevent trouble brewing up later on.
Communicate
One of the most important factors in a marriage is communication. You and your partner should be able to communicate with each other. At times, communication may seem to be a chore, but it must be done. Don't berate yourself because you don't feel like talking with your partner after returning home from a tiring day at the office. It is perfectly natural, and this is not a sign that your marriage is headed towards deterioration. However, you need to remember that if indulging in conversation seems to be an effort it is an effort that must be made.
Don't just shrug off your spouse's questions answer them and ask some of your own. If you don't do this, pretty soon your married life will be reduced to simply watching television together and not indulging in communication unless necessary. Discuss your dreams, aspirations, feelings and your work life with each other. Did something interesting happen to your friends Instead of calling up another friend to discuss it, call your spouse. Gossip with your partner treat him like you would treat your best friend.
Make an effort
Marriage takes effort. It isn't smooth sailing all the way. If you want it to work, you need to work at it. If you take your marriage or each other for granted, it is not long before your marriage will fall apart.
Always keep in mind that only if your spouse is happy, will she be able to keep you happy. If she is unhappy, you too will not be happy. Every time you argue with your spouse or abuse her, remember that you are only hacking at your own feet, and ruining what could otherwise be a good marriage and perhaps a great chance at happiness.
Avoid destructive criticism
Try and think of you and your spouse as a team, and work on building each other up instead of pulling each other down. Don't criticize your spouse and justify it by telling yourself it is for his or her own good. There is constructive criticism, and there is destructive criticism. Before criticizing, ask yourself if it your input is necessary and constructive, and if it will solve anything.
Look for solutions, not blame
Problems crop up all the time, and you cannot expect your marriage to be smooth sailing all the way. When a problem does crop up, offer solutions instead of trying to pin the blame on each other.
Consider counselling
Not every marriage can be salvaged, and at times divorce may be inevitable. Before taking this extreme step, consider going for marriage counselling. The counsellor may help you see things from each other's point of view, and you may be able to find happiness again.