So it's all over - the wining, dining, flowers,
good night kisses that never seemed to end… and you're left with a heart
in tatters. But all is not lost. You've still got your pride. Hold onto
it with both hands.
The Aftermath
You're still reeling from shock after the break-up and all sorts of
radical thoughts are racing through your head. Should you show up at his
apartment with a shotgun or in skimpy lingerie What's the best way to
make him jealous How, oh how can you make him BEG you to come back Then
again, do you want him back or do you just want him dead Decisions, decisions…
none of them up to you and you damn well know it. But there are certain
things up to you. Even if you haven't tied the knot, you are entitled to
rights, depending on how much time you've invested in the relationship,
and what level you've reached. So while you may never know how to get him
back - (which is a Good Thing as time will tell), you're definitely entitled
to know why you've been so ruthlessly dumped.
The Rules
So what are these rights, rules and regulations Well, no matter what
anyone tells you, there are no rules in a relationship, unless you're married,
which is why relationships seem to go topsy-turvy all the time. It's hard
enough figuring out what rights you have when you're in a relationship,
but at least you've got your other half to guide you through somewhat.
What about when the relationship is over and out
Life is a Stage
The first thing is to ascertain what stage your relationship has reached:
Stage 1: Five dates. You've had a great time, may have indulged in some heavy kissing but haven't had sex as yet. Well, you're definitely entitled to an explanation if he decides to suddenly stop calling, but not much more than that. The explanation could be something as vague as a simply phone call telling you he doesn't think it's going to work out. Whatever you do, don't make a sorry face and wail 'but why' Save it for someone who's worth it.
Stage 2: Sex. So you've had sex but there really isn't much more to the relationship. It's just a fling really. And he decides to end the fling. You do NOT have the right to grill him or to rant and rage. You should, however, swear off those vodka shots.
Stage 3: 2 months. You've crossed the crucial 2 month mark of dating and you are introducing each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. Neither of you are seeing anyone else. If he decides to call it off, you have the following rights:
In Stage 4 or 5 you have the following additional rights:
Do NOT reduce yourself to a shrivelling mass of tears where you call
him up every night weeping on the phone begging him to take you back, or
start stalking him and noting every movement in a little diary. You'll
make him want to wish he never laid eyes on you. Crying once - or twice
in front of him is not good, but allowed. Any more than that and you're
a disgrace to the female sex. Cry all you want on your pillow, just don't
let him know.
Wise Words
It's good to bear in mind a few basic points, and keep repeating them:
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