Log InCoping With Interfering Mother-In-Law
-by Editor
Does your mother-in-law interfere too much in your married life? She must be just doing it for the betterment of you and your husband. You can take this interference as an advice from your mother-in-law as she is an elderly and experienced house maker. Just take this issue lightly so that you can deal with your interfering mother-in-law with an ease. Read more.
You must have heard that marriage is not with one person, it is with the entire family. This is because you become a part of that family and so everyone and their likes and dislikes, attitudes and behaviour affects and matters. There are very few in this world that are fortunate to have a very cooperating and loving in-laws. The main problem is that everyone has his or her expectations from the new bride or the groom and the same is the case with the newly wed couple also.
However, there are problems in every family. Smartness is to deal with specific problems intelligently so that the relationship is also not harmed. Here are some tips that can help you tackle with your over demanding, disapproving and interfering mother-in-law.
Tips to Deal with Interfering Mother-in-Law
Mother-in-law problems are obvious. It is a very difficult and challenging task to make your mother-in-law an ally, but you can try some of the tips and you will certainly get positive results.
Do not Involve your Husband
Never talk about this to your husband. Husbands most often do not understand this interference because his mother is an important and integral part of his life. Even if he notices the interference he will not mind it or understand your perspective.
Always Be Nice and Affectionate
Involve your mother-in-law in things that can be really helpful for her. Mother-in-laws feel extremely unsecured when their sons enjoy their lives with wives or girlfriends. Try to get your husband’s favourite recipes from her and make it whenever you get an opportunity. Once your husband likes your preparation, your work is done.
Avoid Arguing
Avoid arguing as much as you can. This will help you stay calmed down and also help you keep the family from getting disturbed. If you find that your mother-in-law is interfering too much and is extremely demanding, try to avoid some of the not so important works that she gives you. You can make the excuse of being tired or forgetting the one. But remember, this you should do afterwards. There is nothing wrong in telling lies when that is not going to harm anybody and is beneficial for you.
Consider the Interference as Advice
If your mother-in-law interferes in small matters and she is only giving you advices that can improve your life, accept and appreciate it. Do not be at dagger drawn with your mother-in-law always. After all she is your husband’s mother and you owe responsibility towards her too.
Give Importance
Give importance to your mother-in-law. Most often it is observed that mother-in-laws interfere and become demanding just to attract attention from others. This is normal human psychology. Probably she is feeling unsecured and so you should pay attention and give some importance to her too.
These tips will help you get positive results only when the interference is nominal and natural. If you are not so fortunate and have a mother-in-law who is not ready to go of her rein easily, you might have to take severe and strong steps. You can keep her off from your internal matters and when she is unaware of what is going on between you and your husband, she will probably not interfere.
You can also change your location and start living in some other place. In severe cases, you can change the city also. Extreme steps sometime become necessary for peace of mind and for harmony in life. However, if you decide to live somewhere else, make sure that you do not shun away from your responsibility of taking care of your mother-in-law by leaving her alone.
Do you live in a joint family with your in-laws? Is it correct to argue with an interfering mother-in-law? How to make mother-in-law understand not to interfere? To share your experiences, views, and tips, click here.
Name: deepika
City: Delhi
Comments: When I was being with my mother in law for 3 years after marriage my mil was so proud on me like she is lucky to hv a daughter in law like me but as I got separated in 4year of my marriage she started ignoring me she used to give importannce to her second daughter in law she talks to her she used to go market with her she shares every secrets with her nd now where they have profits they never ask me for anything but where they need me they can call me for whatever they want (but telme one thing that can my parents in law´s hv rights to sleep in my room with me nd my husband I must want the answer of this)
City: Delhi
Comments: When I was being with my mother in law for 3 years after marriage my mil was so proud on me like she is lucky to hv a daughter in law like me but as I got separated in 4year of my marriage she started ignoring me she used to give importannce to her second daughter in law she talks to her she used to go market with her she shares every secrets with her nd now where they have profits they never ask me for anything but where they need me they can call me for whatever they want (but telme one thing that can my parents in law´s hv rights to sleep in my room with me nd my husband I must want the answer of this)
Name: Random
City: Delhi
Comments: My mil is so controlling, she has to do everything her way only. She keeps track of when I bath or not, she keeps track of what I wore yesterday and what should I wear when going out. She takes my clothes from my room to machine wash, even my washed undergarments when put in my bathroom , when I have told her multiple times not to. She doesn’t let my husband do one thing that she thinks I should do, like doing the dishes, cleaning the bathroom, etc She irons our clothes, would clean the house at 6 am if maid doesn’t comes up even when I ask her not to do it and disturbs our sleep. I dont feel like living in my house, I want to buy a separate house but dont know how to put this to my husband. She insists on buying a big house togrther abd everytime she speaks about it, I get so angry within and its disturbing my life and mentally a lot.
City: Delhi
Comments: My mil is so controlling, she has to do everything her way only. She keeps track of when I bath or not, she keeps track of what I wore yesterday and what should I wear when going out. She takes my clothes from my room to machine wash, even my washed undergarments when put in my bathroom , when I have told her multiple times not to. She doesn’t let my husband do one thing that she thinks I should do, like doing the dishes, cleaning the bathroom, etc She irons our clothes, would clean the house at 6 am if maid doesn’t comes up even when I ask her not to do it and disturbs our sleep. I dont feel like living in my house, I want to buy a separate house but dont know how to put this to my husband. She insists on buying a big house togrther abd everytime she speaks about it, I get so angry within and its disturbing my life and mentally a lot.
Name: REENA
City: imphal
Comments: Definitely written by som insecure MIL. Its realy disapointing dat most if d time it is anothr woman who defames n try to undermine the other one . Kinly stop making nuisance n start thinking for d bettrmnt of woman as a whol. It is our birth right to speak n express n hv a littl space. We cant b jus subdued n controlled al time. Let us b gvn the choice of our own cntrl rathr dn by somone else. If we mk a mistk let it b our own experienc. THINK LIK A RATIONAL human being considrng al d perspectives. Think universal.
City: imphal
Comments: Definitely written by som insecure MIL. Its realy disapointing dat most if d time it is anothr woman who defames n try to undermine the other one . Kinly stop making nuisance n start thinking for d bettrmnt of woman as a whol. It is our birth right to speak n express n hv a littl space. We cant b jus subdued n controlled al time. Let us b gvn the choice of our own cntrl rathr dn by somone else. If we mk a mistk let it b our own experienc. THINK LIK A RATIONAL human being considrng al d perspectives. Think universal.
Name: sweety
City: Bangalore
Comments: must have been written by a mil. mils please understand that ur son is married just d way ur husband got married to u. u enjoyed ur life. Now let others enjoy theirs. If u really care for ur son, let him have a life.
City: Bangalore
Comments: must have been written by a mil. mils please understand that ur son is married just d way ur husband got married to u. u enjoyed ur life. Now let others enjoy theirs. If u really care for ur son, let him have a life.
Name: Pia
City: chandigarh
Comments: I don´t agree with the article. For how long we can take her interference as an advice. My sis in law and mom in law keeps on interfering. She doesn´t allow me to cook meals for my husband, does all chores of my husband. My sis in law doesn´t give us space, she has to accompany us where ever we go. I am married since two years, if they were so possessive about their son or brother, why they allow him to marry.
City: chandigarh
Comments: I don´t agree with the article. For how long we can take her interference as an advice. My sis in law and mom in law keeps on interfering. She doesn´t allow me to cook meals for my husband, does all chores of my husband. My sis in law doesn´t give us space, she has to accompany us where ever we go. I am married since two years, if they were so possessive about their son or brother, why they allow him to marry.
Name: neha
City: delhi
Comments: I am married since 3 years. Though my husbands family is well educated and loving but few things are very disturbing. When I came after marriage they kept my clothes upstairs (newly made portion for me and my husband after marriage). But surprisingly my husbands clothes were downstairs. They expected to eat, sleep, live, watch TV downstairs. Except sleeping in all other activities my mother in law accompanied us. My husband was very cool with it. After fight for years I managed to keep my husbands clothes with me but still he wants me to sit with her mom all the time. His mother continuously comments between us, interferes and doesn´t give any space to us. When i discuss these things with my husband he always say you have problem with everything. I love my husband but staying at his home is really disturbing. I never felt his home as mine as its his mom house. I request if any MIL is reading this please give space to your son & DIL. If you are not then you will be reason of their separation.
City: delhi
Comments: I am married since 3 years. Though my husbands family is well educated and loving but few things are very disturbing. When I came after marriage they kept my clothes upstairs (newly made portion for me and my husband after marriage). But surprisingly my husbands clothes were downstairs. They expected to eat, sleep, live, watch TV downstairs. Except sleeping in all other activities my mother in law accompanied us. My husband was very cool with it. After fight for years I managed to keep my husbands clothes with me but still he wants me to sit with her mom all the time. His mother continuously comments between us, interferes and doesn´t give any space to us. When i discuss these things with my husband he always say you have problem with everything. I love my husband but staying at his home is really disturbing. I never felt his home as mine as its his mom house. I request if any MIL is reading this please give space to your son & DIL. If you are not then you will be reason of their separation.
Name: shaya
City: maharashtra
Comments: it´s even worse when ur mil wants u to be a typical dil, like if u r a homemaker cook meals like she do, expects u to hv no private life,
City: maharashtra
Comments: it´s even worse when ur mil wants u to be a typical dil, like if u r a homemaker cook meals like she do, expects u to hv no private life,
Name: Ritu
City: New Delhi
Comments: Life of girls in Indian culture is very challenging. Husband involvement is very necessary if it is going beyond control. My mother in law presents her to be a very nice mil. But behind me she defames my reputation and make me devil in front of neighbours and relatives. I was very innocent and was sharing with her everything but I came to know her clever side. I would suggest all the ladies to not to trust your in laws and share things with ur husband if he is understanding. And if u find no one to share with then pls share with your parents who still have the responsibility to make sure you r happy. It´s sad that women in Indian culture has to face so many difficulties in the house and the society both. Never feel that your parents will get stressed if you share things with them rather they will provide u with good advice.
City: New Delhi
Comments: Life of girls in Indian culture is very challenging. Husband involvement is very necessary if it is going beyond control. My mother in law presents her to be a very nice mil. But behind me she defames my reputation and make me devil in front of neighbours and relatives. I was very innocent and was sharing with her everything but I came to know her clever side. I would suggest all the ladies to not to trust your in laws and share things with ur husband if he is understanding. And if u find no one to share with then pls share with your parents who still have the responsibility to make sure you r happy. It´s sad that women in Indian culture has to face so many difficulties in the house and the society both. Never feel that your parents will get stressed if you share things with them rather they will provide u with good advice.
Name: lefetye
City: Sanaa
Comments:
City: Sanaa
Comments:
Name: Abc
City: Ahmedabad
Comments: This article is very harmful & totally wrong.. Do not follow this.
City: Ahmedabad
Comments: This article is very harmful & totally wrong.. Do not follow this.
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