Log InCoping with Extra Marital Affairs
-by editor
Extramarital affairs are like double-edged swords; it can either make your lifestyle better or will completely change your lifestyle. Its effects can be not only devastating for the individuals who are in it but also for their families. Such affairs very often leave the individual with low self-esteem and always give them a feeling of guilt. But there are few people who also know how to cope with extramarital affairs.
When your husband is late for dinner, be alert. He is either having an affair or he is busy with collogues in a meeting. Hope that he is in a meeting with collogues. Not with his secretary. This may be the sign of having an extramarital affair, unless he is truly loyal to you. But it does not mean he is not in love with you. It simply signifies he has got attracted to someone for something.
Attraction can be for love or sex or both. Generally, after you get married and settled it is only for sex. Love factor is not the main criteria. It is just that when you want sexual pleasures from a person you need to tell, 'I love you', 'will do what you want' and 'will be with you forever'. Actually you are not going to be with each other forever. Nor you will be doing what they want from you. In EMA you are together only for a simple reason, which is sex.
The story
This reminds me of the episode of my friend's husband who was having an Extramarital Affair. They got settled with an arrange marriage. Initially, they were very happy together. As the time passed by, a small issue landed into big fight. This was the time when things got scattered.
With those fights and nagging from his annoyed wife, he started getting attracted to this lady in his office. She was working in his office as an accountant and almost seven years elder to him. He was in love with her and sex was very exciting. She was experienced and always made him feel like a king. He was satisfied and started to be with her till late. This created a doubt in the mind of my friend.
Every day he started coming late. The main motive to be late was not here the nagging of his wife. But then my friend realized that something was fishy. He told her that he was discussing accounts but now she had understood what he was doing. Once she had seen her husband out with that lady and that's when she understood the way to save her marriage. She got to know that her husband got attracted to the lady's figure and her styling. The next onwards she started with daily walks and did everything that could save her marriage. She did not want her kids to suffer.
I thought she will not be able to do anything. I arrived at a conclusion that she may end-up asking for 'divorce' from her husband. But I was wrong, it was totally flimsy.
Over the next three weeks, I saw her transform. She completely turned all the odds in her favour.
She was totally changed. From an old-fashioned aunty, she turned into a 'wow' wife. She had a total make-over. The printed salwar-kurtas gave way to trendy Western casuals and for once she looked really comfortable in them. Regular walks resulted in flattened waist. Grey hair took on a pretty shade of burgundy and red. Thick glasses were replaced by blue-grey contacts.
But now what changed most astonishingly was her husband's attitude towards her. He started noticing and talking to her much more than what he had done during the early days of their marriage. He flooded her with phone calls and messages as she cooked food. He started arrived home early. Taking her out for romantic dinners became a regular habit. He started spending time with his family then being in office discussing accounts. Later, he even planned a mini-vacation with her which was more romantic than their honeymoon in Shimla.
In another two weeks, the accountant faded away. But my friend maintained her makeover. And for the first time her marriage rocked! In the end my friend and her husband had to say 'We have discovered love for the first time in our marriage.' For her make-over had done the job and made her husky-busty life was finally settled. She realized that every one needs to change with time to make life exciting.
So the moral of the story is; do we all really need a controlled dose of EMA? An extramarital affair does not necessarily land in taking-up divorce. Sometimes thinking positively may help one and all to overcome the situation tactfully. Everybody needs attention in life. If you feel that your spouse is ignoring you, you can try to change your lifestyle a bit. Add a little spice to your life and see the change. And think twice before getting on to a conclusion.
How can you cope with Extramarital affairs? Do think it is necessary to have an Extramarital affair? To share your experiences, views, and tips, click here.
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